The Big Book of Cards & Toasts For Almost All Occasions, by Marcia Goldlist

Before I present the review of this book, let me just confess here that I did not read the whole book. But let me also mention, in the case of this book, it does not seem necessary.
Genre: Stuff-Hallmark-Cards-Would’ve-Been-Made-Of-Had-They-Been-Bitter-And-Honest.
Layout: The book contains jingles for every occasion, as the title suggests. They have been classified as Anniversaries, Birthdays, Tweets, Get Well Soon, Holidays, etc. It is commendable that the author has come up with so many rhymes and jingles. (the previous sentence ends with an invisible “but”)
The Rhymes: You know that stinky feeling you get when someone gives you a backhanded compliment? That’s what the rhymes in this book are like. They are meant to be positive Hallmark kinda stuff. But at times, it sounds oh-so-subtly-negative. The kind of negative that gives you the stinky feeling. Consider the following examples:
“Together you have been for 25 years. And you’re still happy, it appears.” Jealous much?
“Hard times we are sure you went through.” Who needs to be reminded of that on their anniversary?
“So enjoy being pampered… this may just be the last time we do such a thing.” Is someone dying?
“Lots to celebrate and we hope not too many tears.” Yet, let us remind you about those tears.
“Today is your anniversary day, we hope it is special in at least a little way” Sounds like the two were going through a hard time. The “at least” kills it totally!
“Welcome to this world into which you were hurled, it is not always the greatest place.” Sure, the baby can’t understand you. But if he/she could, is that really what you wanna tell a newborn?
“Coming to this world may not have been your choice.” Right, cos if the baby had a choice, he/she wouldn’t be born where this rhyme would be recited for him/her.
There are many such examples I could cite, but I am sure you get my point.
Also, there are places where words have been strung together just to get them to rhyme. Citing examples for those will make this an unnecessarily long review.
Conclusion: The rhymes in this book might be a good option if you have the habit of sending out cards, and you have the habit of rhyming in your cards, and if your cards don’t already have rhymes printed in them. But you obviously will need to do some alterations, as the author herself has mentioned several times in the book.
You can buy this book at: Amazon
Rating: 2/5

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